Working with a variety of clients in my coaching and mentoring work we often follow this timeless formula for success. It is a proven, well defined path that anyone can travel one step at a time. We’ll begin with the first three steps in the process that energizes this important mindset. You’ll see it is very action oriented and practical in nature.
Step one is becoming an avid, committed learner. That means you must have the desire and willingness to see, accept and begin the learning process of confidence development. Some never get past this step because their confidence in learning is so low that they are defeated before they take the first step. Learning how to develop confidence does take a certain amount of effort, some time and a little desire but your momentum builds quickly once this first step is made. Without taking the first step you’ll never know how far you can go nor what the journey and destination can provide for you. Begin learning today.
Step two is positive, focused self talk. The average person’s self talk is usually as much as 90-95% negative. The quality of your emotional life and the confidence you feel is largely determined by the way you talk to yourself. Using the law of substitution where you change the negative to the positive you can create a new powerful inner dialogue that is like adding the inner support steel to a concrete column. Affirmations that are first person present tense like, “I like myself” or “I am competent and capable” or “I am able and I can do what I choose to do” give you the mental and emotional boost that supercharges your confidence in a positive and productive way. When you use these positive self talk statements frequently and with conviction it puts your subconscious mind to work to give you thoughts, ideas and directions to make your words your reality. Much more on this step to come.
Step three is positive visualization or mental imaging. Everyone is good at imagining the worse outcome or result. You’ve done that since you were a kid and you broke the lamp, stained the carpet or came home tipsy from your first over indulgence with alcohol. Sound familiar? That’s how worry and anxiety grows and takes root and it’s a confidence killer. We talk about ‘positive visualization’ which is likened to building movies in your mind that take you where you want to go. All improvement in your life and specifically in developing your confidence starts with improving the mental pictures that you paint and frequently review with zeal and emotion. Another form of this principle is in repeatedly doing mental rehearsals of the exact way you want an event or interaction to occur. This stamps a very positive and clear expectation for the results you want deeply into your subconscious and thereby puts the accomplishment of that event on automatic.
Does this process work? Try it for just one month, 30 days and see for yourself. You may become an expert ‘programmer’ and surprise yourself.